Alastair Gardiner, Greatness Profile
“Demonstrating Healthy Power
with ‘Violent’ Children”
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Violent acts last for approximately five seconds, but the fear from that violence can last a lifetime. When a child exhibits violent behavior that child is often labeled a “violent child” and that stigma can follow them for the rest of their life.
The Nurtured Heart Approach gives caregivers the tools to deal with potential violent acts by teaching caregivers how to stand in their own fearlessness. “I see you are angry… I see you are upset… I see you feel aggressive in this situation” … By staying in the present and resetting themselves, the caregivers are working on their own fears and are able to name the emotions the child is experiencing, reflect back to the child the good choices the child is making and that the child is still maintaining good healthy power and control.
The key is for the caregivers to work with their own fears by resetting themselves which will allow them to work from a whole different emotional place.
In order for caregivers to reset, organizations must understand that their job is not to manage and contain children, but rather to create wonderful environments for the children to flourish. Once an organization has committed to providing amazing relationships with its children, the staff is empowered to work from a place of fearless authentic power.
Alastair says, “Change the organizational culture and you change the children’s view of how they operate in this world.”
Dealing with violent children is much more than dealing with rules, clarity, consequences and reset (Stand 3 of NHA). In order to hijack the children to success, Stand 1 and Stand 2 must be fearlessly utilized. When caregivers fearlessly use all of The 3 Stands™, they stand in their own healthy power and the relationship is no longer a “win or lose” proposition, but rather an opportunity to teach our children how to live in this world.
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Alastair Gardiner – We Celebrate Your Greatness!